Your To-Do List is Keeping You Stuck. Do This Instead.
What If Your To-Do List Is Actually Holding You Back?
Do you ever feel like you’re just repeating the same day over and over? Like no matter how many tasks you check off, nothing really changes?
I used to feel the same way. Every morning, I’d write my to-do list—emails, work, meetings, cooking. Every night, I’d add something for gratitude. But then, one day, I flipped through my journals and saw the same words: emails, meetings, work, gratitude. Over and over. It hit me—I was organizing my life, but I wasn’t actually living it.
That’s when I realized: I was great at tracking my tasks, but terrible at designing a life I actually wanted.
So, I made one simple change—and it completely shifted how I experience my days.
The Shift from Routine to Possibility
No more "Dear Diary." No more "Dear Planner." Instead, I started my mornings with "Dear Perfect Day."
At first, it felt strange. I stared at the blank page and thought, What does my perfect day even look like?
And that’s when I realized something deeper—after repeating the same routine for so long, I had no idea what actually made me happy.
We are so used to following routines, checking off to-do lists, and handling responsibilities that we forget to even think about what we truly want. And there’s a reason for this. start living in the present.
Why We Struggle to Define What We Want
I started wondering—why was it so easy to write my to-do list, but so hard to define what I actually wanted? The answer wasn’t about motivation. It was about how our brains are wired.
Psychological studies show that our brains are wired to detect threats and avoid negative outcomes—this is called negativity bias. Evolutionarily, it kept us safe. Our ancestors didn’t survive by chasing pleasure—they survived by avoiding danger.
And that’s why, even today, our minds automatically focus on what we don’t want.
Ask someone what they don’t want, and they’ll give you an endless list.
Ask them what they do want, and they’ll probably freeze.
It’s not because we lack ambition or dreams—it’s because we lack clarity.
Psychologists call this the clarity paradox—the idea that the more we focus on avoiding the wrong things, the harder it becomes to define the right things.
That’s why we stay stuck in routine. We know we don’t want stress. We don’t want to feel drained. We don’t want meaningless days.
But what do we actually want? Most of us never take the time to define it.
And that’s why writing "Dear Perfect Day" is so powerful—it forces your brain to switch from survival mode to possibility mode.
How to Start Writing Your Perfect Day
Here’s how you can do this today:
1️⃣ Write down "Dear Perfect Day" at the top of a page.
2️⃣ Describe your day as if it’s happening. Don’t think about what’s realistic—just write what would make you feel alive.
3️⃣ Pick ONE thing from your list and actually do it today.
For me, I started small. Instead of rushing through my morning coffee, I wrote:
"Coffee on the balcony, breathing in fresh air."
It wasn’t a huge change, but it shifted the way I experienced my morning.
And that’s the trick—you don’t need to change your entire life overnight. You just need to start adding small moments that make your days feel more alive.
Your Challenge
Don’t let another day pass without defining what truly makes you feel alive. Start now.
Before you check your to-do list, take just one minute and write:
"Dear Perfect Day…"
And in the comments, tell me one small thing you’d love to experience today. It could be as simple as eating your lunch without distractions, calling a friend, or taking a walk.
Try it, and then come back and tell me if you feel a difference.
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